Monday, July 30, 2012

At What Cost

Michael sat at the east end of Wade Park. The sun had set hours ago but because of its location at the center of the city, this park was usually well lit. Tonight it was especially dark. Mist rose and hung above the earth, untouched by any wind or movement. Despite the unusually low temperature for this time of year, sweat sat upon his brow, blinking at the faint traces of city light, shimmering brighter than the reflection upon his eyes, which seemed blacker than the shadow that had engulfed most of wood that surrounded the park at this time of night. He sat alone but felt the presence of someone else at his side, a presence that has grown stronger and much harder to ignore with each passing day, bringing with it a growing uneasiness that became much more difficult to ignore. A presence that he noticed the moment he set eyes upon Adam Braun, the boy who's very existence has ignited a rage within Michael, sparking cruel thoughts of revenge, but revenge for what? Why did Michael have such bitter hatred for this young man he had never met before? He stood and thought for a moment about going back home, to where his parents were most assuredly in a panic over his absence. Before taking a single step through the moist grass, before embarking on a journey, painful only because it would not end in the end of his mortal enemy, Michael paused, familiar with Adam's neighborhood and how easily he could sneak in and out of that home unnoticed, covering his trail and vanishing into the night before anyone was aware of what he had done. The Guardian realized he was quickly losing influence and may soon have to resort to the extreme in order to keep Michael from becoming what his grandparents fled from decades ago, from murdering in the name of hatred.

1 comment:

  1. This is a nice tribute to Faulkner. You've created some of the darkness and disturbing atmosphere he's known for, and even the hypnotic rhythm of the sentences.

    There were a few grammar things that we discussed in class (tenses) that you should clean up. It's basically just a couple instances of using "has" instead of "had."

    I think one thing you could add to this to create more of a picture of the scene is some kind of description of the main character. Not necessarily what his face looks like, but maybe just how he's standing, leaning, sitting, whatever. I felt like I could envision the cityscape, but not the lonely figure contemplating revenge.

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